America: Land of the BIG BUTTS

If you go into a any restaurant in America, you see a lot of BIG BUTTS.

I went to this breakfast joint the other day, and they served this HUGE piece of coffee cake. I mean, it was like three feet high. And all over the restaurant were these really large people who, after eating HUGE breakfasts of eggs, bacon, pancakes, hash browns, etc. (all sugar, fat, and carbs), would order the highlight of their dining experience: a very BIG piece of coffee cake - each person ordered their own piece - and they would just start mowing down on that big piece of white sugar bread! Their BIG BUTTS barely fit in the booth, they could barely stuff enough of that cake in their huge mouths.

Why do Americans always do things so big and excessive? Big houses (monster homes built on small lots), big cars (Hummers), big breakfasts, big butts. One of these days, people are simply going to start exploding, and they'll have it coming. BOOM! There goes another fat ass. POW POW POW, there's goes a small family of three.

No wonder the rest of the world dislikes us. We are a land of gluttonous, obsese BIG BUTTS, because we're the land of the free and we have the right to stuff our fat faces and we can pursue big butt happiness because it's our God-given right! And that's sadly the way we approach the rest of the world. We need Iraqi oil so we can contniue growing our big BUTTS!. A lot of us bristle at the self conscious, annoyingly self-righteous pose of the vegatarian who always disrupts a simple meal with some tedious special request (Um, excuse me, but I'm a vegatrian, and I can't eat that. Do you have any dairy free products?), but you can see how the pale skinned, politically conscious vegetarian comes out of a reaction to living in a land of BIG BUTTS.