Man Member Miracle Grow

It's quite amazing how much of Spam is the age-old pitch to men about getting a larger penis, overcoming impotency, and giving a woman pleasure. As much as it is easy to laugh at these ads, I think on a deep primitive level, men DO want a big penis, as if it was/is an extension of their sense of manliness, power, strength, masculine identity. Of course it's just an appendage, an organ of reproduction, a funny looking ant eater of a thing, yet, without it, a man is rather lost. If it's small and doesn't work, where does it leave him? Who am I without a decent-sized, regularly functioning love wand?

I love how the Spam ads make the pitch: one tells me I can GROW my penis, as if it were some potted plant just in need of a little miracle grow. O, dear oh me oh, were it that easy! The other ad tells me the wonders of the "penis patch" as if I were trying to kick a smoking habit. Slap a patch on that bad boy and watch him grow! Woohooo! I imagine a lot of those patches are sold, alas.

But the real question a man must ask himself, if you could grow your penis with a patch, how much would you grow it? At what point does it become too big? These are serious questions and must be given much thought.

Suprise! You Gotta Love Reality TV

There really is just something about Miriam. Kind of reminds me of my aunt Enid from Muskoke.

Bill Burroughs Says

"We must find out what words are and how they function. They become images when written down, but images of words repeated in the mind and not of the image of the thing itself."

- W.S. Burroughs

Saving Reason and Democracy

Half way through Al Franken's Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them: A Fair and Balanced Look at the Right.

God bless this man, and God bless America. It's a very funny book, and also well researched. He methodically shreds the reigning right wing propagandists of our day by analyzing and debunking their lies. It's fairly amazing.

In the spirit of fairness, I need to read Anne Coulter and perhaps Hannity or Limbaugh. I have some left over Vicodin from a prescription, which I may send to Rush.

Saucy Word of The Day

ecdysiast

n: a performer who provides erotic entertainment by undressing to music

Confessions of a White Trash Junky: Jessica Lynch is Hot

I admit it. I'm coming clean before God and Country: I have a thing for white trash American Imperialism poster girl Jessica Lynch. Maybe it's her pale skin and slightly goofy cute face, her awkward skinniness, or maybe it's classic midwest bangs perched perfectly over her translucent forehead. She's just too cute! She's not a beauty, she's wirey, she wears Walmart fashions and she doesn't seem super educated. But she seems clean, honest, sincere, and strangely hot, in a pure white trash kind of way. She'd probably rock your socks off.

(This is to find out if anyone is really reading PaddyBoy Blog. I'd rather bring J Lynch home to meet to folks than this decadent gal: Peaches.)

Good and Sad News: "It's awfully dahk out there."

Good news is, I & R will be trying to have a litle baby. Congratulations! Sad news is, they want to move to NC.

To be honest, I can't say I blame them, to move that is. Moving and change is a good experience, something you always learn and evolve from doing. I will miss them but realize that houses ARE cheaper, and it will be a good place to raise a baby around a conglomerate of family/relatives.

But still, North Carolina? I would be a little reluctant, for several reasons, such as Race, culture, weather, lack of mountains. Yet, it is pretty, the coast is gorgeous, family is there for Ig, and it's damn cheap for cost of living. Think of the house they'll get!

Power of Prayer

I never have been a religious type, but lately I have been praying, and now I believe there is a God, that He is good, and He is listening. Thank you for bringing the world George Soros, God.

Kundalini Yoga: Sat Nam, Chakras, and Working Up the Prana

Last night I took my first non-Vinyasa Yoga class, which was Kundalini Yoga. Our regular teacher Lynn - perhaps the best Yoga teacher I've ever had - is on leave to have a baby, so we got a substitute, and she's a Kundalini specialist.

Kundalini Yoga, from what I can tell so far, is based upon releasing energy that becomes blocked in our Chakras. Chakras are like energy points along our spine which run from the bottom of our tail bone to our upper crown. Repression, stress, problems, poor posture, injury, depression, etc., can cause energy to become blocked in one or more of these areas. With Kundalini, you work on releasing the energy bottled up at the base of your spine (the Kundalini "snake" which through Yoga you uncoil) so the life energy found in breath ("Prana") can travel through all Chakras and to all portions of your body, and life.

The class was a very different experience, unlike any Yoga I've done. We chanted. We sang. We breathed fast through our noses. The pace was fairly brisk, though not too fast, and we were told to keep going to complete the exercises. We were told to keep our eyes closed, if possible. Instead of doing a single pose and holding, like in Vinyasa, we moved continuously through the postures, back and forth. There was very little stillness, except at the beginning and end.

Out teacher was a serious woman: her body seriously wrapped in white robes and her head in a large, very well constructed turban. She was young, perhaps in her 20's, attractive but intense, a little holy maybe. I was taken at the way she spoke, seriously, deeply, with a purpose. No fluff or irony. The only word I can think of to describe the sound and tone of her voice is religious.

What she had us doing, this practice, felt like religion when she spoke of God being inside me, me being God, and how to accept and trust myself in that respect: trusting myself, God, and the universe. The whole while my mind kept trying to critique such talk as silly, nonsense, new age speak; yet on another level, another voice inside me said to not worry about this language and resistance to the holy unseen, to just trust myself and let go. That's perhaps what Yoga (this and all other forms) is in fact all about: Letting go and trusting your body.

It is odd to think how hard it was for me to allow myself to to sing, chant, and breath loudly, as she wanted us to - she even said that a weak breath is a sign of a weak personality! Oh yeah? I'd show her. I breathed up a storm!

I also learned a new saying, which was nice after so many years of the tired old Namaste: “Sat Nam” which roughly translates to “I honor the Truth of your identity, which is the same as mine and makes us one.” Sure, sounds a little cornball (especially the weak, wimpy-ass, therapy-ish, support group word "honor"), but how hard would it be for me to objectively, with a large measure of disinterestedness, take the words at their face value?

My overall impression? I like this Yoga. One of the last things she had us do, in our cool down lotus breathing pose was, she said ”I want you all to ask for a blessing from God, but please do it without language." I was floored. How was I to ask for anything without asking in words? This was the closest I’ve ever felt to praying.

Straight to Hell, Boy

I oughta give up on the hopes of hanging out on puffy clouds singing about the glory of God with the choirs of angels.

How will you fare on the Are You Going To Hell test?

You Got the Devil In Your Mac

Who would have known that Steve Jobs is the AntiChrist and that every Mac computer tricks its users subliminally to becomes Godless Darwin worshippers?

Check it out (you gotta scroll down the page a little).

3Mugs - Jerry's Hot House Model Productions

Quite amazing, to see my brother Jerry's LA appartment transformed into a model shoot. Way to go, Three Mugs!

http://jlnolan.bravehost.com/index.html