When Cute Furry Animals Go Bad - Animal Dream #24

In my dream, I live very close to an elementary school and there has been a rash of break-ins and vandalism. I am at home when I look out my window and see a group of kids trying to jump a fence to get into the school. So it's the kids doing it, I think. As I look around I hear glass breaking and general mayhem. Then, I go to the phone and dial 911. Strangely, I get a recording which tells me to leave my emergency as a message and an officer will respond to the message in the order it was received. Just then, somehow the kids get wise to my call and come around to my house, trying to look into windows. I am afraid to be caught by them, so I crawl to my front door and can see silhouettes of kids outside. I lock my door, then hear them all run away. I look outside and see a line of kids being herded by cute, tiny, furry little puppies. I mean these are some of the cutest puppies you've ever seen, and it turns out THEY are the ones who have apparently brainwashed the kids into a life of crime. The kids are running in a single file line as the small cute puppies herd them and nip at their ankles like sheep to keep them orderly. Just then, the last kid in line falls down and stops. A little puppy runs to run and nudges him up with his nose. The rogue band of brainwashed kids and their puppy dog captors trail off into the distance.

Critical Love and Personality Reflection Pods

When a person makes a critical comment of another person, is there any way possible that the comment being made would ever have nothing at all to do with the person making the comment? Is a critical comment ever not in some respect in some way about the comment maker, i.e., totally objective? This gets down to a lot of philosophical and psychological issues, namely, what it means to like, and then maybe love someone. Criticism: Rocky Road to Love.

I know for me, my critical comments of others always can be traced back to something in me that I am criticizing about myself, in a super roundabout and indirect way to knowing who I am - though it's very possible and often the case that the comment also has something to do with that person receiving the criticism.

In relation to things, when I start to get mad at things, processes (like at work or politics) these criticisms also have much to do with me.

I also wonder if the purpose or at least function of a relationship is to provide means by which a person can transcend themselves by using the other person as a means or vehicle to find these things out about themselves. As if the person you are with (possibly through argument, discussion, and self/other criticism) allows you to mirror yourself in a way you've never been able to see yourself, and only when you realize all this stuff you were projecting about yourself onto that person eventually with work become reflected back upon you, and then you realize these criticisms aimed at the person were really things/discoveries you needed or wished to learn/make about yourself are actually who you are.

It's almost science fiction-like, where we use other people as personality reflection pods by which we can extract aspects of ourselves and bring it up into our consciousness and thereby expand the self.

Meditation aims to this end, though you do all the arguing and projecting on all the Selves already inside you.

Ocean Swimming
I experienced my first ocean swimming Saturday, which was also my first ever open water swimming. Leaving the pool was quite the shocker, a real change from the repetitive 'back and forth, stare at the black line at the bottom of ther pool' type experience you get used to in the warm and balmy water of the gym pool.

I was fortunate enough to have my good friend Alex to brave the waters and paddle his long board along side me while I swam. We started at the famous cement ship in Aptos and headed north toward seac cliff and Capitola's Depot Hill. From this photo, you can see the general course we went.

In general, I will say I liked swimming in the ocean and would like to do it again. It was a shocker, and at first I seriously thought I would have to get out of the water, mainly because of the temperature. I.e., it was freaking COLD! We calculated that I swam about a mile, and we were in the water less than an hour.

A few things to think about for your first ocean swim.

+ It's going to be cold. Naturally, if you're going to swim in Cancun, Mexico, you'll be fine, but up in the cold waters or Northern California, you better have a wet suit, or be part seal. As soon as I got in the water, I was instantly gasping for breath as the shock of the cold zapped my body. I was wearing a wet suit shirt, long sleeve, but it was still cold cold cold. I recommend a full body suit.

+ Keep moving, but go slow as you adjust to the cold. Warm up more slowly than a regular pool. I first though that because of the cold I was not going to make it, because to swim, you need to be able to have a strong, steady breath, and the cold temperature wasn't allowing that. But, I sucked it up and started swimming. I went for a few minutes then stopped. I started up again, then stopped. I fought the negative thoughts that I was somehow failing because I wasn't kicking butt like I usually do in the pool. I assured myself that I needed to go slow and adjust. I eventually got moving.

+ Take time to see where you're going. Ideally, you want to move out beyond the waves, to the point past where the start swelling and forming. I think next time I may go out further, because only once, even though the waves were tiny that day, every once in a while, even on a small day, there's going to be that one set that gets huge. I was plenty far out but riding up and down the big swells can kind of freak you out when your head's under water.

+ Pick a point in the distance and try to aim for it. A few times I ended getting close to the beach, because for some reason I kept swimming toward the right. I think the constant swell crossing my path pointed me continuously to the right. So, I would have to force myself to aim left, and that would make me go straight.

+ Realize you are making progress. Unless you are in a rip tide, you will be moving forward, though it feels as though you're not even moving. Because of the swell and current, the entire time it felt like I was not moving at all. I felt as though I was swimming upstream and was not going anywhere. This feeling can mess with your head. Once I stopped and asked Alex if we were making progress and he said I was moving fast. I looked along the beach and noticed that indeed I was moving forward. So, trust yourself and even though it feels like you are not moving, you are.

+ Realize that you probably won't see much in the water. This is one of the biggest fear factors, the notion that you can't see much and beyond your hand, there's a universe of deep darkness and all manner of creatures and critters. Your mind can mess with you, let me tell you. I kept thinking that the blur of water moving from my hand crossing my line of sight under water was either a huge slimy jelly fish or perhaps a shark. Of course, it was neither. We did se around six sea lions, who would swim close and sort fo check me out. Once I had stopped and looked over and saw a sea lion head poking up and staring at me.

+ Trust yourself and the ocean. This is really what it comes down to. The whole experience was an exercise in overcoming fear, the fear of who knows what, but the fears loomed big at first. I guess it just feels like you are small out there, and maybe because you are face down and don’t have your usual ability to see all of your surroundings. You may encounter critters and they are probably a lot closer than you think, but that’s not going to stop you. For me, I felt a fear that’s hard to describe, but it was just this notion that there’s a huge, huge sea out to my left that felt like some unknowable void. I had to relax and make peace with the primordial sea, trust it and trust myself and not put myself in opposition to nature. If I got nervous or tired, I flipped over to my back and floated and relaxed. Then started swimming again. It was fun! It’s a cliché, but it’s true, you have to enjoy yourself.

No Better News For Those Who Love Themselves
Well, with my track record, my chances of getting prostate cancer should be significantly lowered, according to this upbeat study.

White Trash Poetics
Ode to a Mullet.

Improve Your Street Cred

What better way to learn about diversity? Imagine what your friends will say when they know your down. All you ned to do is use this woman's cultural awareness services.

The Girl In the Grass

Sometimes life surprises you, finds you out, and doesn't let you hide.

I was driving around my neighborhood one sunny, warm, clear Saturday afternoon, going to get some food for dinner. As I reached the end of my street and began to make a right turn around the corner, I looked left down the street for any oncoming cars. Something caught my eye, and I saw something out of place: a body, fully clothed and laying face down in the grass, at the edge of a lawn, near the sidewalk. I stopped my car and stared. I saw it was a female body, a girl, or maybe it was an old woman, clothed in jeans, a shirt, black sneakers, and a multicolored bandana head-wrap thingy around her head. Her face was completely hidden in the grass. It didn't look right. From the way she lay there, I felt almost certain she was dead. It was as if only moments before I got to the corner, this girl had experienced a seizure, or maybe some sort or heart attack, and had fallen face down in the grass. Her body lay completely relaxed in a position that clearly wasn't natural or comfortable, definitely not a position someone would choose to lay in. I became nervous, terribly afraid to have to be the one who discovers a dead body, the one who has to deal with the corpse and call the police and ambulance. I've had this fear as long as I can remember, the fear of seeing death up close. I imagined calling to her, and hearing nothing, then having to lift her shoulder gently and roll her over only to see the wide eyed face of death looking at me. From my car, I stared for what seemed like several minutes, frozen with cowardice and fear. What if she was still alive and her life depended up on me calling for help? What if she had only minutes to live and her life was in my hands? I looked around, hoping someone would come out of the house she was in front of, or some other neighbor would look at see this and do something. Anyone but me.

I gave my car gas and made my turn, away from the girl. I hoped someone was going to soon discover her, and call for help. I drove to a nearby taqueria and ordered a burrito, and for a moment forgot the girl in the grass. I headed back home and drove the same route back to see if maybe she still lay there, or maybe by chance perhaps someone had discovered her. I hoped to see an ambulance, police cars, maybe some people who knew her giving a report. Maybe she had lived. As I drove down the street and came closer to the place where she had been laying, I saw no commotion. I saw only her, standing alone, looking somewhat stunned and dazed, rubbing her head and looking around, as if she had just woken up. I drove past her at a normal speed, and looked at her. She did not see me. She was alive, and I had failed.