Critical Love and Personality Reflection Pods

When a person makes a critical comment of another person, is there any way possible that the comment being made would ever have nothing at all to do with the person making the comment? Is a critical comment ever not in some respect in some way about the comment maker, i.e., totally objective? This gets down to a lot of philosophical and psychological issues, namely, what it means to like, and then maybe love someone. Criticism: Rocky Road to Love.

I know for me, my critical comments of others always can be traced back to something in me that I am criticizing about myself, in a super roundabout and indirect way to knowing who I am - though it's very possible and often the case that the comment also has something to do with that person receiving the criticism.

In relation to things, when I start to get mad at things, processes (like at work or politics) these criticisms also have much to do with me.

I also wonder if the purpose or at least function of a relationship is to provide means by which a person can transcend themselves by using the other person as a means or vehicle to find these things out about themselves. As if the person you are with (possibly through argument, discussion, and self/other criticism) allows you to mirror yourself in a way you've never been able to see yourself, and only when you realize all this stuff you were projecting about yourself onto that person eventually with work become reflected back upon you, and then you realize these criticisms aimed at the person were really things/discoveries you needed or wished to learn/make about yourself are actually who you are.

It's almost science fiction-like, where we use other people as personality reflection pods by which we can extract aspects of ourselves and bring it up into our consciousness and thereby expand the self.

Meditation aims to this end, though you do all the arguing and projecting on all the Selves already inside you.