Woody Allen, A Funny Perv

"Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words."

"There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more."

"I don't believe in the hereafter; but just in case, I'm bringing a change of underwear."