Corporate Exhibitionism: ‘Free Spirits’ in the Workplace and the Breakdown of Artificial Barriers

I believe my workplace is filled with exhibitionists. Self conscious, sloppy, self regarding, juvenile exhibitionists.

For example:

People at work who take their shoes off and walk around the office without shoes. What does this say? It says, 'I like to be comfortable. I am a casual person. I am free spirited and not bound by the stiff social conventions of society.'

I get a glimpse of their knobby, gnarled, calloused, sometimes hairy toes, and GLORY! Barriers have been lifted, I accept them for who they are, we are enlightened, advanced, progressive. We don't need such social conventions/constructions as shoes to make us uptight. Free your toes, we are all adults here.

People at work who brush their teeth after lunch. This wouldn't be so bad if they did it in the bathroom and most of them who brush do (along with the archetypal engineer nerd flosser, who spends precious hours staring into the bathroom mirror dutifully plucking all the gunk out between his teeth, like his mommy taught him, but that's another story). But the problem for me, and what exemplifies this kind of corporate exhibitionism, is that many of them walk around brushing their teeth, as if that was OK, as if we were all just a bunch of happy camp kids, or all together for some sort of sleepover.

People at work who bring their cereal in and eat it for breakfast, as if they just rolled out of bed (and believe me, some of these frumpy dumpy folks look like they just came out of the bedroom) and treat their cube desk as a breakfast table. I don’t know what it is, but there's something about seeing someone pour their milk and start slurping their wheaties in the workplace. Then, when they finish, the cereal bowl sits on their cube (perhaps washed) with a spoon in it, as if this is also their kitchen.

Also: People sat my work say the word Fuck all day long. Sometimes long ago before I started someone broke that barrier and said Fuck and now everyone's been saying it ever since. People say Fuck all day long, curse wildly, profusely, loudly, well aware that the word is still taboo, and their faces betray a tinge of giddy self consciousness, like when a kid first discovers that there are "dirty" words in the dictionary like vagina and anus and penis and breast.

Some external examples are
+ Women in cars on the way to work plucking eyebrows, putting on lipstick, crimping eyelashes, applying foundation. It's as if they are trying to improve their appearance before they get to work, but it's ok to look not to hot in the car. The car is still private, apparently, even though everyone can see you.
+ Men in cars on the way to work using an electric razor.
+ The worst example is perhaps the cell phone. I am not sure why people on cell phones tak so loud, and always look at you to make sure you are looking at them, as if be default you had no choice to listen to their dull conversation. When a coworker takes a cell phone call and hushes her voice, somehow I respect her because she is expressing a belief in the private, that there is a barrier between us and it is that barrier that allows us to respect each other. But most people not only take their calls but do so loudly, flaunting their very important conversations about what bar they plan to go to later or who they will hang out with.